In which Q finally speaks of the Kombucha Mushroom

Under my sink, beside the whiskey, lives a jelly fish and its children pickled in a gallon jar of tea flavored vinegar. Drinking the vinegar gives you super powers

By super powers, I mean bacteria. Sometimes a bit of cellulose. The occasional yeast.
I am of course talking about kombucha mushrooms.

I first learned of Kombucha from a fella we'll call Wild Bill. Bill drank his kombucha that he grew in his basement with half a glass of orange juice. He once offered me a glass of the brew while I was dating his granddaughter.

"What is it?" I asked

"Golden Mushroom Tea…" he said all mysterious like a New England sage.

"What's it do?" I asked

"All kinds of things!" He proclaimed. "It helps your guts, it boost your immunity! They've been dinking it in china for thousands of years!"

He missed one important bit of the benefits – that it makes the drinker potentially one with the universe, but that's ok. Wild Bill was awesome, and that's what matters. However, once he warned me that putting any metal in it of any kind will instantly turn it to poison, I became a bit of a scaredy-cat and declined my first taste of the wonder drink.

Fast forward 4 years and now I've got the beantown blues and the red sox fever. Tara comes home one day and says "check it out! It's kombucha!"

I say huh, what?

She says "Grandpa's golden mushroom tea!" and takes a big swig.

I became a big fan. Even started growing my own under the sink, next to the whiskey. If I do it right, it tastes and fizzes just like a hard cider, don't even need any juice to go along with it. Yes sir, it's the good stuff.

Now as far as having it make one one with the universe, perhaps you may be thinking that this magic mushroom has the psylibic properties, and sadly, this is not the case. There are arguments in the wooga-wooga community that perhaps the initial sickness that signifies the onset of a shamanic lifestyle may be that the "little guys" are trying to speak with you. Listening to them may make one closer with the universe.

Listen to the little guys. Drink Kombucha tea.

At the very least it'll help yer guts.

Waffles.