Butter and Razor Blades

Well, friends, ThanksMcGiving is right around the corner, and you know what that means: Time for me and Big MaMa Q to start baking up a storm.

You might just find yourself saying, “Myque, I didn’t know that you and your alter-ego cared!” well… there’s a story to that.

Breakfast @ chez Q (check) consists of buttered* toast and coffee, unless I am entertaining guests, in which case it involves bacon, eggs, buttered toast and coffee.

The last of my butter was gently melted within my nightly Macaroni and Cheese, and I knew that if I didn’t fetch some, I would be an unhappy ducky in the morning. (I also realized how fuzzy my neck has been getting, so I also resolved to purchase a pack of Mach 3 blades. Now I realize that this has nothing to do with the story, except I was amused that my shopping list for the day consisted of butter and razor blades, so I wished to share it with you.)

I noticed the packaging was different on my butter, but I reckoned that change was coming to the white house, it might as well be coming to grocery store.

This morning, I noticed my butter was of a funny color, a pasty, translucent white. I viewed the packaging expecting to see some advertising promoting some left-wing value like “No longer made with yellow 5!”** Instead, I realized that I had picked up a package of shortening, not butter.

Gingerly did I nibble my toast this morning. It wasn’t bad, but at 25% of my daily recommended dose of saturated fat per tablespoon, I don’t think I’ll be melting a chunk of it into my Macaroni and cheese any time soon.

So, Big MaMa Q and I have a task at hand, and a toaster oven to do the deed. If the results are… awesome. I’ll let you know.

Waffles!

*by butter I mean Earth Balance brand Non-Dairy, Zero Trans Fat Buttery Sticks
**This was a joke. Earth Balance Buttery Sticks have never contained Yellow 5