Old Man Bones was sitting at his player piano when Dead Fat John walked into the pub.
“Sit down,” Bones offered to the weary fat man covered in dust. “Have a drink. It’s on the house.”
John shook his head. He’d played Bones’ game before, and came up a few pennies short every time.
“No thanks,” he said. “I’ll just sit and smell the roses.”
“They aren’t actually roses,” Old Man Bones replied with a smile.
“Well then, I’ll stand until you finish playing.”
Old Man Bones sat. Dead Fat John stood. The piano played long into the night.
When it finished, Bones stood up. John sat down. The player piano stayed quiet.
Everything was quiet.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Cute Little Things
With one hand I type, and within the other, I hold my breakfast.
A week ago, I met my godson for the first thru third time. Little Silas. The parents even found newsy type caps for the occasion. However, I have learned from my other little cousins, it will take twelve years or so of infrequent visits for him to remember who I am. He looked up at me with big, blue eyes and spit-up over his fourth outfit of the day. I whispered important phrases of nonsense into his ear as he spat out his Iowa Hawkeyes pacifier.
On a side note, my toast tastes like bacon. Due to the fact that I haven’t had pork like products within my house for three months, I am ignoring the improbable nature of this claim and savoring the pure bliss.
My coffee tastes a bit like hot rubber… mmm. Bacon on the go. It’s like a road trip without the nasty cheese holding everything in place.
On the subject of cute, little things. My parents have found an abandoned kitten. They waited two weeks to name it - the family Veterinarian needed to determine its sex, then after finding out it was a boy, called it Sam. Sam has decided that he is a parrot, and sits proudly on my father’s shoulder. Together they harvested the fields this year, plundering the amber waves of they bounty once again. Whenever Sam gets sleepy, he just slides off into Dad’s hood for a little cat nap. It’s so cute I can’t hardly stand it.
Well you gang of ninjas, zombies and plutocrats, I gotta run. Keep the ice clean, and may the flamingos keep politics interesting!
A week ago, I met my godson for the first thru third time. Little Silas. The parents even found newsy type caps for the occasion. However, I have learned from my other little cousins, it will take twelve years or so of infrequent visits for him to remember who I am. He looked up at me with big, blue eyes and spit-up over his fourth outfit of the day. I whispered important phrases of nonsense into his ear as he spat out his Iowa Hawkeyes pacifier.
On a side note, my toast tastes like bacon. Due to the fact that I haven’t had pork like products within my house for three months, I am ignoring the improbable nature of this claim and savoring the pure bliss.
My coffee tastes a bit like hot rubber… mmm. Bacon on the go. It’s like a road trip without the nasty cheese holding everything in place.
On the subject of cute, little things. My parents have found an abandoned kitten. They waited two weeks to name it - the family Veterinarian needed to determine its sex, then after finding out it was a boy, called it Sam. Sam has decided that he is a parrot, and sits proudly on my father’s shoulder. Together they harvested the fields this year, plundering the amber waves of they bounty once again. Whenever Sam gets sleepy, he just slides off into Dad’s hood for a little cat nap. It’s so cute I can’t hardly stand it.
Well you gang of ninjas, zombies and plutocrats, I gotta run. Keep the ice clean, and may the flamingos keep politics interesting!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Speech
You can’t tell it from the way the hall is decorated with all its pumpkins and gourds, but Jeanne’s favorite color is actually green, and Jeremy’s just so happens to be red. Every time I think of these two it’s like Christmas.
I have been a fan of team Franz-Adams - excuse me, J-Adams – since the beginning and this feeling of fandom has only grown over time. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I have my Great-grand-nephews drooling on my feet. Jeanne and Jeremy, I reckon I can speak for everyone in here that I will love and support you from now until forever.
Sister, Brother (it’s so cool calling you brother) Here’s to you. Happy Holidays.
I have been a fan of team Franz-Adams - excuse me, J-Adams – since the beginning and this feeling of fandom has only grown over time. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I have my Great-grand-nephews drooling on my feet. Jeanne and Jeremy, I reckon I can speak for everyone in here that I will love and support you from now until forever.
Sister, Brother (it’s so cool calling you brother) Here’s to you. Happy Holidays.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Happy Trails to Q
Good morning and how are ya?
I'm sorry for the lack of posting, my free time has been eaten by zombies – err, a story about zombies anyway.
Chuck full of pulpy goodness, "Lich: the Undead Wizard Rides Again" has been slurping at my mind and time since labor day, and with a probably-needing-a-good-polish-if-ever-it-was-going-to-be-professionally-submitted-anywhere-but-still-one-fine-chunk-o-words version due in late October, I've been cracking rawhide to make the drive a good'un.
Having both the western and the zombie apocalypse genre on the mind makes for interesting dreams, the wildest so far pitted a gigantic, old-fashioned locomotive against one of P. F. Chang's terra cotta horses. I don't remember who won, but it was an epic battle and I woke up Casey Jonesing Mongolian beef.
Well that's all for now, I got to hop on my subway and ride it into the sunrise.
Keep shooting straight, and don't let the rattlesnakes bite!
I'm sorry for the lack of posting, my free time has been eaten by zombies – err, a story about zombies anyway.
Chuck full of pulpy goodness, "Lich: the Undead Wizard Rides Again" has been slurping at my mind and time since labor day, and with a probably-needing-a-good-polish-if-ever-it-was-going-to-be-professionally-submitted-anywhere-but-still-one-fine-chunk-o-words version due in late October, I've been cracking rawhide to make the drive a good'un.
Having both the western and the zombie apocalypse genre on the mind makes for interesting dreams, the wildest so far pitted a gigantic, old-fashioned locomotive against one of P. F. Chang's terra cotta horses. I don't remember who won, but it was an epic battle and I woke up Casey Jonesing Mongolian beef.
Well that's all for now, I got to hop on my subway and ride it into the sunrise.
Keep shooting straight, and don't let the rattlesnakes bite!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Dreams and Things
haHA! You thought I’d escape the day without a bloggie-blog, but I’m a sneaky ol’ cuss, now ain’t I?
indeed.
The Sox are being smacked around tonight, and my Jellyfish juice is extra tasty sour. However, I have leftovers in the fridge for the first time in probably 6 months. Huzzah!
So,
Last night I dreamt to amuse my brother that I would badly impersonate presidents of the united states. The thief of the show was going to be my Lincoln impersonation, wherein I would simply don a suit coat, top hat and stilts – but not long pants to hide said stilts. Apparently my modernized Gettysburg address (talking about the 20th century, perhaps?) was gonna knock the twenty somethings dead, but it was a bit square for an opening act. So, I decided to do another presidential impersonation – a rude moronic fool, who’d be so terrifically over the top and poorly done that Lincoln would be pure bliss. I chose for my president Rutherford B. Hays. Donning my only costume piece, a suit jacket (being beardless was part of the shtick for both presidents) I get onto stage ready to take space and amuse, and realize that the entire audience is full of children. Apparently some teacher heard there was a presidential impersonator, and decided to make a field trip out of it. yep, comedically cock-blocked by children. I started to deliver my speech, then gave up half way and engaged the kids by making outrageous claims about Mr. Hays, and having them give me the actual facts. It was kinda cute. I woke up trying to figure out how many score and years it’s been since 1776.
11 and 12 years. Not so sexy. However, It’s been 4 score and 10 since WWI ended…
here’s my secret for crazy dreams – When I crawl into bed, I say my prayers. The crazy stuff starts happening around 5:30-6am. Don’t know why, don’t know how. But it’s like going to the movies nightly and not having to drop $40 for tickets and popcorn!
Sweet Dreams!
indeed.
The Sox are being smacked around tonight, and my Jellyfish juice is extra tasty sour. However, I have leftovers in the fridge for the first time in probably 6 months. Huzzah!
So,
Last night I dreamt to amuse my brother that I would badly impersonate presidents of the united states. The thief of the show was going to be my Lincoln impersonation, wherein I would simply don a suit coat, top hat and stilts – but not long pants to hide said stilts. Apparently my modernized Gettysburg address (talking about the 20th century, perhaps?) was gonna knock the twenty somethings dead, but it was a bit square for an opening act. So, I decided to do another presidential impersonation – a rude moronic fool, who’d be so terrifically over the top and poorly done that Lincoln would be pure bliss. I chose for my president Rutherford B. Hays. Donning my only costume piece, a suit jacket (being beardless was part of the shtick for both presidents) I get onto stage ready to take space and amuse, and realize that the entire audience is full of children. Apparently some teacher heard there was a presidential impersonator, and decided to make a field trip out of it. yep, comedically cock-blocked by children. I started to deliver my speech, then gave up half way and engaged the kids by making outrageous claims about Mr. Hays, and having them give me the actual facts. It was kinda cute. I woke up trying to figure out how many score and years it’s been since 1776.
11 and 12 years. Not so sexy. However, It’s been 4 score and 10 since WWI ended…
here’s my secret for crazy dreams – When I crawl into bed, I say my prayers. The crazy stuff starts happening around 5:30-6am. Don’t know why, don’t know how. But it’s like going to the movies nightly and not having to drop $40 for tickets and popcorn!
Sweet Dreams!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Wherin the Pattern gains insight into the Weaver, Part 2
2 days until the Large Haldron Collider goes on line! So excited!
What's this, you ask? either look it up (for the facts) or read below. (for the fun) good keywords to google: CERN LHC alpinekat
Deep underground in the border of Switzerland and France… there is a Ring.
As far as particle physics is concerned, this ring is the king, in terms of size and energy.
This ring will find the elusive Higgs boson, which some call “The God particle”.
In the Darkness, this ring will bind lead ions together, creating a miniature big bang.
Man’s understanding of the Universe will change, and the nerds will be frolicking like hobbits.
Or the Earth will be destroyed in some form of catastrophic event. This is an unlikely scenario, especially since really, the LHC isn’t doing anything that isn’t already happening billions of times a second across the universe, and even right here at home.
So what’s the big deal? Well, the conditions within the ring are the closest we’ve ever gotten to creating the conditions before the beginning of the universe, more sterile than Outer Space….
Or God Himself will come out of the heavens saying, “YoyoyoyoyooyoyoyoyYOYOYOYOYOYOYO! What’s this mumbo jumbo I’m hearin’ about you kids findin’ particles of me layin’ round? It ain’t right, I tell you; you can’t be findin’ scientific proof that I exist! What are all the poor atheists gonna do? Ever think of that, huh? Why I got half a mind to smite you hairy-footed bastards right here and now!” To quell this apocalyptic fury, we, the mortals would explain that the Higgs particle is only called the God particle out of respect for the fact that it is the explanation of why things have mass, a fundamental question of science, not because we believe it’s truly particles of God.
Besides, if the world did suddenly get Ice-9ed by Strange Matter and wiped out all life on the planet, I’m sure it would be too sudden to notice.
So really we’re looking at either greater and profound understanding of the universe (the more likely scenario) or instantaneous annihilation (you have better odds of being crushed by a piano on your way to work this morning that this happening).
Don’t know about you, but it sounds win-win to me!
What's this, you ask? either look it up (for the facts) or read below. (for the fun) good keywords to google: CERN LHC alpinekat
Deep underground in the border of Switzerland and France… there is a Ring.
As far as particle physics is concerned, this ring is the king, in terms of size and energy.
This ring will find the elusive Higgs boson, which some call “The God particle”.
In the Darkness, this ring will bind lead ions together, creating a miniature big bang.
Man’s understanding of the Universe will change, and the nerds will be frolicking like hobbits.
Or the Earth will be destroyed in some form of catastrophic event. This is an unlikely scenario, especially since really, the LHC isn’t doing anything that isn’t already happening billions of times a second across the universe, and even right here at home.
So what’s the big deal? Well, the conditions within the ring are the closest we’ve ever gotten to creating the conditions before the beginning of the universe, more sterile than Outer Space….
Or God Himself will come out of the heavens saying, “YoyoyoyoyooyoyoyoyYOYOYOYOYOYOYO! What’s this mumbo jumbo I’m hearin’ about you kids findin’ particles of me layin’ round? It ain’t right, I tell you; you can’t be findin’ scientific proof that I exist! What are all the poor atheists gonna do? Ever think of that, huh? Why I got half a mind to smite you hairy-footed bastards right here and now!” To quell this apocalyptic fury, we, the mortals would explain that the Higgs particle is only called the God particle out of respect for the fact that it is the explanation of why things have mass, a fundamental question of science, not because we believe it’s truly particles of God.
Besides, if the world did suddenly get Ice-9ed by Strange Matter and wiped out all life on the planet, I’m sure it would be too sudden to notice.
So really we’re looking at either greater and profound understanding of the universe (the more likely scenario) or instantaneous annihilation (you have better odds of being crushed by a piano on your way to work this morning that this happening).
Don’t know about you, but it sounds win-win to me!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Wherein the Pattern Gains Insight into the Weaver, Part 1
“Yee haw!” Lord Two Tongued Cowslip cried to no one in particular. “This sure does beat the Mardi Graw down in Seattle!”
No one made any notice of the cowboy, for he was sitting in a padded and sound proof room.
“Not Fair!” He cried, “Yew just created me, and now yer throin’ me in the loon bin? What did I do to deserve that?”
Unmoved by his characters’ pleas, Lord Two tongued Cowslip continued to stay in the padded cell all by himself. This is when the cowboy realized the inner truth behind his creator’s action.
“Aw, I get it. God’s late for work.”
No one made any notice of the cowboy, for he was sitting in a padded and sound proof room.
“Not Fair!” He cried, “Yew just created me, and now yer throin’ me in the loon bin? What did I do to deserve that?”
Unmoved by his characters’ pleas, Lord Two tongued Cowslip continued to stay in the padded cell all by himself. This is when the cowboy realized the inner truth behind his creator’s action.
“Aw, I get it. God’s late for work.”
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