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Mr. Buff and his oversized hound dog were at it again.

Heading home in the Haybinemobile after a long day spent over the stover, our hero’s nostrils twitched.

“Smell that, E-biscuit?” Buff inquired of his white and black companion.

“A Rog Rarm?” the great dane asked.

“Beside the hog farm.”

“Ranother Rog Rarm?”

Mister Buff sighed. He knew that there was a mystery in the air, and if he could smell it, any one could.

The Haybinemobile whirred into the Iowa night. All of a sudden, there came a great clattering, and the van lost all its torque. This was a bad sign. To make matters worse, heat lightning crackled across the sky, illuminating a spooky house on top of a spooky corn-covered hill.

“Ruh-roh, Robbie” E-biscuit said, “Rhris rosen’t rook rood.”

Cursing Hanna-Barbara for their dog-imposed speech impediment, the amazing Mr. Buff and his canine companion wandered up the gravel path to the eerily lit farmhouse. A whirring, not unlike a Lego helicopter buzzed from inside. As it did so, green light glowed out from its lacey curtains.

Being a Shaggy and Scooby clone, They didn’t think too highly of creepy green lights coming out of abandoned buildings. However, also being a Shaggy and Scooby clone, when they saw the two pies cooling on the window sill they knew they had to knock. It takes two pies to find torque, you see. With those pies, not only could they fix the Haybinemobile, they could also have dinner (with room for enchilada casserole). Yes, my friends. This was the most important pastry-related plot device since Back to the Future 3.

An old guy answered the door holding a pitcher of glowing green gunk.

“Don’t drink this,” he warned. You guessed it. The Blendtec dude. Music and lights similar to The Price Is Right started spinning around the countryside as we cut to commercial.

We returned from break to find Buff and E-biscuit hard at work trying to convince the other to take a drink of a nice frothy glass of cokechicken.

The Blendtec guy sighed. “I would have thought the two of you would have jumped at the chance to try real bird in a blender,” he said.

Our heroes stopped their bickering and immediately struck a pose while saying everyone’s favorite catch phrase – GO CYCLONES! And the cokechicken disappeared from sight.

Immediately, the Blendtec guy grabbed the mug and blended it before our hero’s amazed eyes.

“Glass Smoke,” he said. “Don’t breath this.”

“Amazing,” said Mr. Buff. “Is there anything you can’t blend?”

“Well, there is one thing.”The Blendtec guy dropped a crowbar onto the table. “The evil ghost who haunts this house won’t let me blend crowbars.”

“A roast!” cried Emmet hopefully, “A rowbar rocking roast!” The black and white monster licked his chops. In the distance, someone opened up a can full of laughter.

“You’re in luck, Blendtec Guy,” Mr. Buff said with a puff in his chest. “The Amazing Mr. Buff moonlights in mysteries, we’ll take the case!”

In the distance, something squealed. Our heroes and special guest looked around worriedly as the lights went suddenly out!

“Robbie?” E-biscuit called into the darkness, “rare are rou?”

In the distance – but less distant than the squealing, (because good god, the writers have never heard of anything happening close by, eh?) a refrigerator opened. Alien special effects that might have taken up half the budget glowed from a pitcher in Mr. Buff’s hand.

“Don’t drink this,” he said, holding aloft his makeshift glow-stick lantern. “Hey, where’s the Blender dude?”

He was gone! Cut to commercial!

The scene rose again as the masterful Mr. Buff held a loft his green lantern made of pre-blended glowsticks.

“Where’d the Blendtec guy go?” He asked Emmet.

“Ron’t rask re,” replied the wonder-mutt.

“Oooga-booga,” said the ghost in the corner.

And a chase scene commenced. It was a standard one as chase scenes go… until something in Rob Snapped. Yes, Snapped, with a capital “S”. As the ghost chased our heroes past the neighborly hog farm, Mr. Buff grabbed a tin panel and turned to face the aggressor.

“Come on,” He snarled, “Come on, you BLEEEEP. You don’t scare me!” The monster of the week charged Rob and he jacked it in the face with the tin panel. The monster snarled and charged again. Our Haybine hero slammed the panel in to it again, shouting a sting of cuss words not printable on children’s TV.

E-biscuit didn’t know what to do, so he chased the pigs around the hog lot, like a good dog.
Sick of being buffeted, the ghost gave up.

“Don’t hit this,” he said, “Anymore, please!”

It was the Blendtec guy!

As the cops were handcuffing him, the Blentec guy explained how, to his great shame, Blendtec blenders can’t actually grind up crowbars, so he created a ghost persona to scare away anybody who asked.

“And I would have gotten away with it too,” he said, “If the Amazing Mr. Buff wasn’t a pig farmer’s kid.”

“Thanks a lot, kid,” said a random cop, who gave Mr. Buff two pies out of gratitude.

“Sweet!” said The Amazing Mr. Buff, who now could fix the torque on the Haybinemobile.

E-biscuit wandered up with a comically distended stomach.

“Why do I suddenly smell bacon?” Asked the cop holding the two pies. The Harlequin hound grinned at the camera as an artificial studio audience roared.

As the Blendtec guy is put into a police car, Mr. Buff and E-biscuit strike a pose as the episode ends with everybody’s favorite catch phrase – “GO CYCLONES!”