So,

What do you think? Should I continue to write here, where no one is looking? I must admit that's it's tempting to become more public with my words, but Zita is my Jimminey Cricket and pulls me from the brink of putting things onto the Internet that i will regret later.

But seriously, if you are out there, what do you want to hear?

A short one today.

I finished my half pint of Mill Street Organic and stumbled into the street. Before me was a butt, only half used! I’m not proud. Soon I had it lit with a loonie in my pocket to spare! It was warm that day, a good one to be wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirts. Once I finished my butt, I found myself in the library. I cracked open a book, but stopped caring in the middle of the first chapter. I crossed the street as the light was turning yellow. It was beginning to freezing rain. I hurried back to my home, half a block away from the library.

And… it fizzles out. That’s okay. That’s the theme of this particular story.

Is this post going to be black like coffee or white like my eyes?

Hi all, I’m starting my days these days with a light workout, followed by a quick shower and a splash at the keyboard.

Why?

To help me get off coffee, and to feel better about the amount of screen time i’ve been giving myself.

That’s right, friends and doggies, I’m working my way up to kissing caffeine goodbye.

Stop laughing.

I’m serious.

Stop laughing, i’m serious you guys.

Ok, maybe a coffee cold turkey isn’t in the cards, but i spent over $1500 in coffee shops last year. That’s almost $30 a week on coffee and coffee styled snacks!

Updates as they occur.

Out like a Lamb... or in this case, a goat.

Today I changed how I address the world, and i like it a lot better.

The World, p.o.box my perception, 00444 USA

Why is it in the USA do you ask?

United states zip codes are easier, though less specific.

With that, the news!

Ventured out to River Dale farms yesterday to see the kids.

No, not Archie and Jughead. Goats. Baby goats. Bigger than I imagined they would be, and not playful for a dreary afternoon. That’s okay. Zita got her goat fix. Zita loves goats. I don’t know why, but she does.

We also saw the Easter bunnies! Two rabbits in a warren with nests full of (hopefully) unfertilized chicken eggs above them. I took a picture of it and sent it to my niblings. I don’t think any of them noticed the eggs.

Last night, I found myself watching an improv-based version of Clue. I was there to hopefully see how a theatre company deals with audience engagement… THEY DONT! Still and enjoyable show. In this episode colonel Mustard did it. With an everything in the bedroom.

… as vague as that last sentence was, it perfectly sums up this show.

The real reason my finger hurts

It’s not in my kitchen, and the bottle of Soy Sauce is trying to convince me that within its murky depths, there are unknown secrets.

I continue to give it the side eye, knowing that if i fall for this one again… my wife may divorce me. “What are you doing out of the refrigerator?” I ask it.

The sepia toned madness counts the point that it just made a human speak to an inanimate object.

I shake my head. I am not going to drink it. I am not going to be found lying on the floor with a distended belly. I am not-

The brown bottle manages to lewdly wink at me. I punch it halfway across the kitchen.

I am solemnly cleaning the brown splatter off the walls when my wife arrives from circus class.

“Ah,” she says, “I see you’ve been hitting the sauce again.”

In the House of Crumbles

In the house of crumbles, I tapped at my computer. All the gilt had peeled off the walls, leaving the frescoes looking guilty at their naked partners across the room. Not that I noticed, engaged as I was in this ancient piece of machinery. I barely noticed when a sheet of plaster dropped from the ceiling and shattered on the floor mere inches from my shoulder. I tapped. And tapped. Eventually the lights went out. Eventually a pipe burst. Eventually the water slowed, dried and the pipe rotted away. When my chair collapsed, I sat on the floor. When the floor caved in, I held the monitor tightly and tapped, tapped, tapped. Eventually, the vines came. Then the bugs. Then the beasts. The house of crumbles was neither house nor crumbled. And still, I sat and tapped. When my computer was nothing but dust, I looked up at the heavens and read the stars. I’m there still, if you can find me. Staring and reading about you.

 

A momentary break

Yesterday I surfaced in what felt like the first time in months. 

Gasping for air, I floated on the surface of my life and breathed. I can't tell you how long I'd been under there, and I refuse to look, because I can see them, still swimming dangerously close to where I am.

The swim is not over. Hell, the adventure hasn't really begun.

But, so far, I have survived. That is no small feat.

I awoke feeling the sun on my face for the first time in what felt like ages. The water is cold, but I appreciate the light. It makes me lazy this morning and I hurry through the day to make up for my lost time. 

Around noon, I take a deep breath. It's time to return to below the waves, in the home of these dangerous fish. If I can make it to the boat before the fish eat me, my adventure will be well and truly off. 

I submerge myself and know no more.

Owen, Sound Off.

Like the Maple Leaf's season, my two adventure week is complete.

Some highlights of my second adventure.. in Owen Sound Ontario.

I became the resident expert of the town, as I was the only one who had ever been there. This was a useful fact once my fellows started to realize that i knew what I was talking about, but unfortunately came to late in the adventure to truly be useful.

Owen Sound-abouts are obsessed with solar panels! I suspect they have an effective salesman in the parts.

In the wide world of westerns, which western is the best? This hamlet's Best Western is probably the best.

The weather in Toronto during these days was 12-18 Celsius. Owen sound was between 4-13... Did not pack warmly enough.

Fish men fight salmon on the waters. The season opened over the weekend. Boats are loud.

Hockey is like the national sport of the city. They even had their own team. On Saturday, we watched them on tv in Erie, PA. on Sunday, we spotted the Erie, PA team in our hotel... the Kids had dyed their hair blond.

There's a lot of young adults living in Owen Sound. The average age of everybody we interacted with was about 25. This is baffling because there doesn't seem to be any major university in the area. Young people means that this is not a crappy place to live.

The city is charming. It reminded me of Cedar Falls, if Cedar Falls was on the bank of one of the great lakes.

So this adventure was by and large less adventurous than the previous. This is because we mostly moved in crew fashion, and that I'm not allowed to speak online about the reason I was in the area.

In two days, there will be a day trip to my favorite little Ontario Town, St. Catherines. perhaps we can have better stories then.

Until then... I have a show to make!